In the light of our new standing in Christ, the focus now turns to practical outworking of relationships, in the family, the husband-wife relationship, the parent-child relationship, and the master-servant relationship. Determination to have our own way and to do what we like is a great source of unhealthy relationships in the home and community. As members of the family of God, the outworking of relationships in the family should be a positive testimony to those who are non-believers. What we are at home should reflect what we are in the church and in the market-place. Being very active in Christian service, projecting a wholesome image in that context, and behaving badly at home grieves the Spirit of God, causing much stumbling to others. In contrast, if we live in light of our salvation in Christ, the outworking of relationships the new creation we have become in Christ.
The exhortations by the Apostle Paul in relation to all these relationships were in fact revolutionary in the context he was in. Women were looked down upon in society then, and a wife’s duty was just to take care of the home and children. Children were expected to be quiet and not be prominent in their behaviour.
The injunctions: “wives, submit to your husbands as the husband is the head of the wife and husbands, love your wives…” may not be taken well by many women. But when the qualification, that husbands must “love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy,” comes in, the exhortation takes on a different meaning. Further qualifications that husbands should love their wives like they love themselves and their own bodies clearly show that the task for husbands is far from easy. As the head of the wife and the family, the husband has to give an account to God for how he behaves. In relation to children, the children are told to obey their parents; at the same time, parents should not exasperate their children. Wives are to submit to their husbands just as the church submits to Christ. If the husband could love his wife with the same quality of love as Christ loves the church, then surely, the wife would only be too glad to submit, and this is precisely how the Christian husband should pattern his love for his wife.
John Stott’s explanation on the definitions of ‘submission’ and ‘love’ is very helpful: to submit is to give oneself up to somebody; to love is to give oneself up for somebody. Thus ‘submission’ and ‘love’ are two aspects of the same thing, namely of that selfless self-giving which is the foundation of an enduring and growing marriage and the bedrock of harmony in the family and society.
Paul then addressed the Christian attitudes needed in master-servant relationships. He was not focusing on the evil of slavery; he was more concerned about how believers should behave in such relationships. Specifically, those who are masters or employers must know that they have a master over them, Christ Himself. They would have to give an account to the supreme master for their behaviour towards those working under them. Those who are servants or employees should regard serving their masters or employers as serving the Lord Jesus Himself. In that respect, what should then be their attitude in serving?